A founder's case for self-pleasure, debunked myths, and the pelvic health argument almost no one mentions.
I keep my tools on the nightstand. Sometimes I leave one in bed by accident, on my husband's side, and he rolls over onto it. Good Morning, Nancy's avocado vibe. Hey there, Iroha Sakura. Apologies.
I tell you this not to overshare, but because the wellness internet is full of women writing about self-pleasure in the abstract, in the third person, behind a tasteful screen of euphemism. Masturbation gets the same hushed treatment as menopause and pelvic floor dysfunction: technically allowed, never quite spoken of out loud. So here we are, speaking of it.
The Case Against the Case Against Masturbation
Most arguments against self-pleasure are themselves a kind of self-pleasure. They tend to fall into two camps. The first is moral, downstream of religious doctrine and easily dismissed if you weren't raised inside it. The second is the modern productivity argument, which dresses puritan thinking up in optimization language.
Don't masturbate, the wellness bro says, and you'll be more focused, more disciplined, more attracted to your partner, more dominant in your spreadsheet.
The implication being that pleasure is a leak in the system.
It's not. Animals masturbate. Horses, whales, donkeys, lizards, dolphins. Self-pleasure is not a deviation from biology. It is biology.
What the Research Actually Says About Masturbation
A 2020 paper on abstinence from masturbation noted that despite the cultural enthusiasm for "no fap" routines, there is no clinical evidence of health benefits from abstaining. The researchers were specifically pointing out that abstinence is recommended as a self-regulation tool without data to support the recommendation.
A 2024 study on women found that masturbation reliably reduced psychological stress, induced relaxation, and improved mood. Importantly, the women who used masturbation as a coping strategy did not show higher baseline stress than women who didn't, which addresses the chicken-and-egg argument that self-pleasure is a symptom of distress rather than a relief from it.
Other documented benefits: improved sleep, reduced depression, and relief from menstrual cramps. The pelvic muscle contractions of orgasm release built-up tension in the same way that yoga or stretching does, but more enjoyably and in less time.
How Self-Pleasure Improves Partnered Sex
The argument that masturbation diminishes attraction or libido for a partner is not supported in the research.
The opposite tends to be true. Women who masturbate regularly report higher rates of orgasm during partnered sex, more confidence in communicating what they want, and a more attuned sense of their own arousal patterns.
You can't show someone where to go if you haven't been there yourself.
Self-pleasure is reconnaissance.
The Pelvic Health Argument No One Is Making
Here's the part most wellness brands won't write, because they don't sell what we sell. Regular orgasm has measurable benefits for pelvic health. Increased blood flow to the pelvic region, improved lymphatic drainage, and the strengthening of the pelvic floor through orgasmic contraction all matter for tissue resilience.
For women dealing with recurrent UTIs, this matters more than most realize. Healthier pelvic tissue means a more resilient urothelial barrier, which is the bladder lining that E. coli has to breach to cause infection. The same Vitamin D3 and zinc complex we use in UTI Biome Shield supports that barrier nutritionally. Orgasm supports it mechanically.
The two work together. Self-pleasure isn't going to prevent a UTI on its own, but a body that's been well-circulated, well-rested, and well-attended-to is a body with a better baseline. Add a daily prevention protocol and the math improves further.
A Few Notes on Tools and Hygiene
If you're new to this or returning to it, the gear matters less than people think. Body-safe silicone, easy to clean, charges or replaces in a way that fits your life.
Brands I've kept on the nightstand long enough to leave on my husband's side of the bed: Nancy's avocado, Iroha Sakura. Both are quiet, both are well-made, both look like objects rather than apologies.
If you have recurrent UTIs, two practical notes.
- First, urinate after you finish, every time, the same way you would after partnered sex.
- Second, clean your tools properly between uses.
Bacterial reintroduction is bacterial reintroduction whether the source is human or silicone.
Make Self-Pleasure a Ritual
The most useful reframe I've found is this: masturbation is not a guilty leftover when partnered sex isn't available. It's a practice. It belongs on the same shelf as your skincare routine, your morning walk, the things you do not because you have to but because they keep you in working order.
The fact that it also feels good is not a bug. It is the point.
Masturbation and the Vaginal Microbiome
Here's a quieter point in favor of solo play: it's about the most microbiome-neutral sex you can have.
Partnered sex introduces things your vaginal ecosystem has to negotiate with. Semen is alkaline, so it temporarily raises vaginal pH and nudges the environment away from the acidic, Lactobacillus-dominant state that keeps E. coli and other opportunists in check.
A partner brings their own bacteria too. Solo, none of that is in play. No semen, no foreign bacterial load, no pH swing. The only variables you're introducing are the ones you control.
How Often Is Normal?
There is no normal, which is the honest and slightly unsatisfying answer. Studies put the range anywhere from never to several times a day, and all of it falls inside healthy. Frequency tracks with libido, stress, hormones, and how much time you have to yourself, none of which is a medical benchmark. It's only worth a second look when it stops feeling like a choice, when it's interfering with work, sleep, or connection rather than supporting them. Short of that, how often is your business and nobody else's, least of all a wellness influencer with a chart.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is masturbation healthy?
Yes. Recent research consistently links regular self-pleasure to reduced psychological stress, improved mood, better sleep, and relief from menstrual cramps. There is no clinical evidence supporting the abstinence claims popularized by online "no fap" communities. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists considers masturbation a normal and healthy part of sexual expression.
Does masturbation reduce attraction to your partner?
Research suggests the opposite. Women who masturbate regularly tend to report higher rates of orgasm during partnered sex, more confidence in communicating their preferences, and a clearer understanding of their own arousal patterns. Self-pleasure tends to enhance partnered sex rather than replace it.
Can masturbation help with recurrent UTIs?
Indirectly, yes. Regular orgasm improves blood flow to pelvic tissue, supports lymphatic drainage, and contributes to pelvic floor health, all of which strengthen the urothelial barrier that E. coli has to breach to cause infection. Masturbation alone won't prevent UTIs, but it supports the overall pelvic health that makes infection less likely. Pair with daily prevention like UTI Biome Shield and post-orgasm urination.
Should I urinate after masturbating?
Yes, the same way you would after partnered sex. UTIs happen when bacteria are introduced to the urethra, and that can happen during any sexual activity, partnered or solo. Urinating afterward helps flush bacteria out of the urethra before they have time to attach and form biofilm.
How do I clean sex toys to prevent UTIs?
Wash with warm water and mild soap before and after every use. For silicone toys, you can also boil them or use a sex-toy-specific cleaner. Avoid sharing tools without proper cleaning between uses. Bacterial reintroduction works the same whether the source is human or silicone, so hygiene matters regardless of the type of activity.
What are the pelvic floor benefits of orgasm?
The rhythmic muscle contractions of orgasm gently strengthen the pelvic floor, similar to a low-intensity Kegel exercise. Combined with increased blood flow and improved circulation, regular orgasm supports tissue resilience, which matters for bladder health, sexual function, and recovery from pregnancy or menopause-related changes.
Continue reading
What Your Period Can Tell You About Your Health — The mess is the least of it. What actually changes about infection risk during your cycle, and why no one mentions it.
Educated Guesses: The Advice Women Get About Their Bodies — Why so much of what we're told about our own health was never really studied, starting with "just pee after sex."
How UTI Biome Shield Works — The Vitamin D3 and zinc complex that supports the urothelial barrier, and the PACphenol that keeps E. coli from sticking.
