I'm a whore too.

Shane Gillis went to the gym. Sure. Still unconfirmed.

While hosting Saturday Night Live on October 10, he told a national audience, "I haven't been to the gym in so long, I didn't know women just dress like whores now." Then he asked the room whether they'd seen the shorts, only to arrive at his real issue, which is that he's not allowed to look.

Da'fuk he just say?

Aw, poor Shane. Imagine dragging yourself to a gym for the first time in ages only to find that the women there didn't consult you before getting dressed. Worse, they thought they could get through a set of hip thrusts without becoming your material.

What's your problem with the shorts?

Well then, hand fully raised. I'm a whore too. A mom-of-two whore, for the record. I own these exact shorts. The leggings version for extra slut credit. And they are awesome, with a ruched seam up the back that lifts your ass, which is also the entire design function. They're comfortable, they stay put through a squat, and I like how I look in them. So do my friends. So does my husband. I've worked hard for that ass, so I get to put it in whatever the fuck I want.

His joke asks us to accept that a woman's gym clothes, if a man finds them attractive, set her promiscuity level, and then to feel sorry for him because society won't let him drool. Somewhere in that bullshit scenario my guy Shane became the victim, which is an impressive bit of mental gymnastics from a man who skips the regular kind.

Tight shorts with ass-enhancing technology means we accept all forms of payment for sexual services. Attractive always means open for business. Revealing too much? Everything is yours for the taking. If we object, we're hypocrites. A bunch of whiny bitches who can't take the joke.

I feel like I've been running through this obstacle course my whole life.

Too covered up? Prude.

Too much skin? Whore.

Enjoy sex? Slut.

Say no? Frigid bitch.

Female sexuality has an acceptability meter, and men appointed themselves its moderators.

There's a fantastic line from the badass Keeley Fucking Jones: "Restructure society so women aren't constantly sexualized while simultaneously being crucified for being sexual." That seems so reasonable.

Was he paying attention to anything that week?

It's his lack of awareness that is more comical. Gillis took that stage while the country was arguing about the Cornell 7. Jane Doe dropped out, and some of the men she accused were assigned reflective essays.

Blackout intoxication? Free pussy.

As for Jane's public complaint? The internet went straight to work: how much she drank, where she walked, the texts she sent afterward. A forensic psychologist has pointed out that those self-blaming texts are a textbook trauma response, which is a very different thing from consent.

It's the same checklist every time a woman says something happened to her. And in the middle of all that, a man with a national platform got laughs for telling America that women's clothes announce what kind of women they are.

Shane sees us as objects, something to ogle and fuck. Then when we don't want him, he throws a whorish little temper tantrum on stage. Reject, reduce, retaliate. It sounds like the recycling campaign for misogyny.

When did attraction become entitlement?

Finding someone attractive is normal. Looking at attractive people is normal. Being drawn to a woman in tight shorts doesn't make a man a misogynist. His joke framed self-control as an unfair burden placed on men by women in Lululemon.

Women are handed responsibility for men's reactions all the time. And now we can add one more: don't wear shorts to the gym unless you're prepared to be called a whore on NBC.

But is he actually joking?

The internet has been quick to remind everyone that Gillis is a comedian. Nobody is confused about his job title. Tires is a funny show. Comedy can be offensive and uncomfortable and still be brilliant, and the best of it says things people are afraid to say. Calling women whores for their gym clothes isn't one of them. Boys in middle school have been doing that bit since gym class was invented. Grow the fuck up.

We love you, Dan Levy, for calling it what it is: women in short shorts aren't whores, and the men calling them that are misogynists. There are more men's nipples at the gym than women showing off anything. So men, speak the fuck up.

We've written the books, made the films, marched, testified, and built entire movements around it, and we are somehow still explaining that wearing shorts doesn't make someone a whore. It is fucking exhausting.

What does any of this have to do with UTIs?

At Good Kitty we talk about vaginas, sex, urinary health, and all the things women have been encouraged to discuss quietly, if at all.

We hear from women who feel embarrassed about recurrent UTIs. Women who have avoided intimacy because they're afraid of the next infection, and who feel personally responsible for what their bodies are doing. As though a urinary tract infection were a moral failure. It isn't, and neither is enjoying sex. Medicine used to call sex-triggered UTIs "honeymoon cystitis," a name that assumes a woman's sex life starts on her wedding night and tells you a lot about who was doing the naming.

Our reproductive choices are political arguments. Our sexual histories become moral judgments. What we wear gets read as a measure of our worth. Even our medical concerns get wrapped in embarrassment and silence.

We built Good Kitty because women deserve to feel confident about their bodies, ask questions without embarrassment, and take ownership of their sexual and urinary health. And because we would really like to stop having conversations in which women are expected to apologize for having a vagina.

A note for Shane before he goes

Nobody is asking men to stop finding women attractive. But FYI, attraction doesn't come with a pink slip.

Her body isn't your business, but sure, take a look at what you will not be partaking in. And if a woman doesn't want your attention, you can survive the disappointment without turning it into a national grievance.

Shane, wear whatever you want to the gym. Show off your man boobs. Love this for you. And while you're there, maybe work on exercising a little self-control.

It's free, and no membership is required.