Do You Have a UTI? The Cheeky Checklist You Actually Need

Spoiler: If it burns when you pee, you probably already know the answer.

Look, nobody wants to think they have a UTI. But if you're here, frantically Googling at 2 AM because something feels very wrong down there, let's cut to the chase.

Here's your no-BS checklist to figure out if you're dealing with a urinary tract infection—and what to do about it.

✅ The Classic UTI Symptoms (AKA: You Probably Have One)

Check all that apply:

🔥 Burning sensation when you pee

Like someone's holding a lighter to your urethra. This is THE hallmark symptom. If you've got this, you've probably got a UTI.

💦 Constant urge to pee (but nothing comes out)

You just went 5 minutes ago. And now you have to go again. Except when you sit down, it's like two drops. Infuriating.

🚨 Urgency that feels like an emergency

Suddenly you HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW or you might pee your pants. (Spoiler: there's barely any pee.)

👃 Your pee smells... strong

Like, really strong. Maybe even a little sweet or funky. Not the normal "I'm dehydrated" smell—this is different.

☁️ Cloudy or weird-looking pee

Your pee looks murky, milky, or just... off. Sometimes there's visible sediment. Not cute.

😣 Pelvic pressure or lower abdominal discomfort

A dull ache or pressure in your lower belly or pelvis—like someone's squeezing your bladder from the inside.

🩸 Blood in your urine

This one's alarming (and yes, you should definitely see a doctor), but it's more common with UTIs than you'd think. Your pee might be pink, red, or brownish.

🚨 The "Oh Shit, This Got Serious" Symptoms (AKA: Call Your Doctor NOW)

If you have ANY of these symptoms, stop reading and call your healthcare provider immediately. Your UTI may have progressed to a kidney infection, which is no joke.

⚠️ Fever and chills

If you're running a temperature (especially over 100.4°F) and you have UTI symptoms, the infection may have spread to your kidneys.

⚠️ Severe back, side, or groin pain

Sharp, intense pain in your lower back (especially on one side), flank, or groin is a red flag for kidney involvement.

⚠️ Nausea and vomiting

Feeling sick to your stomach on top of UTI symptoms? Not good. This suggests the infection is more serious.

⚠️ Dark, bloody, or foul-smelling urine

If your pee is dark brown, visibly bloody, or smells absolutely terrible, don't wait—get medical attention.

⚠️ Painful urination PLUS any of the above

Kidney infections can cause permanent damage if left untreated. They can also lead to sepsis (a life-threatening bloodstream infection). This is urgent.

🤔 "But Wait, Could It Be Something Else?" (The Differential Diagnosis Section)

Sometimes UTI symptoms overlap with other conditions. Here's how to tell the difference:

🆚 UTI vs. Yeast Infection

UTI symptoms:

Burning inside when you pee
Urgency and frequency
Pelvic pressure

Yeast infection symptoms:

Burning/itching outside (vulva and vaginal opening)
Thick, white, cottage cheese-like discharge
No urgency or frequency (unless the irritation is so bad it affects your urethra)

Can you have both? Yes. Lucky you. (Antibiotics for UTIs often trigger yeast infections because they kill good bacteria along with bad.)